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xxmisxtakexx
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My life is going to the shit…


I quit work at Little Caesars. I feel a little to stressed out and I don’t want to get back into self mutilation habits again. Other than that my boss Renee is a bitch. She has been treating me like I’m six. I did not grow into the person I am to be treated like that. So in the end fuck her. I’m sad of some of the people I will be leaving and I don’t want to lose them but I fear this is the last time I will see them all. I want to let you know that all the people that I used to work with that might be reading this on Myspace or live journal, I will miss you and don’t you dare forget me because I won’t forget you.


Well to make matters worse my father has been bitching me out about all this since I quit. “You should have talked to me before you made this decision” “ I would have made you stay until you were sixteen” “ You better find a job soon or I’ll take your car away” I hate it. I’ve lost my father. Tonight my father asked my little step sister if she wanted to go to the store with him and she said no but as soon as I said I wanted to she said she did. I know my Dad doesn’t mean it but I never spend time alone with him and he doesn’t even try to make something happen. I asked him if we could have a run just us together in Moab since it was going to be our last year and he said “No we don’t have enough time” But wait we are spending the 13th through the 17th there, why can we even do something short? I mean I have been there with him every time we have gone. I have been his only faithful. But we can’t even do one run together. I’m sitting here crying because I’ve lost him. I’ve lost my whole family. They have all gone and found something better; I’m last year’s model. They don’t need me anymore.

Thus bringing to the fact that Danielle is once again the odd ball out. The unmatched sock in the laundry basket. The end of the bread that no one wants…

That one piece of junk they will throw away.

Current Location: Livingroom
Current Mood: depressedunwanted trash
Current Music: Laughter upstairs

Well I haven't written in a long ass time so here we go....


First off I have had my first kiss. It was with Gabe Rhodes//drummer from Denerious// Very good kiss, but unfortunately I got step throat from it. We dated for a week before I moved. A very good week indeed.

Uh moved to Flagstaff and had by burfday there. The only people that came from Cottonwood was Jen and Kim but Oh well we had a great time. Things three girls can do at 4 am with a skateboard and a video camera.

Came to Sinagua on October 17th. Guitar, Women's Choir, Earth Science, World History, English, Algebra. First hour is great I think even though I started playing 6 months ago I have started to improve. Second hour is fun and that is literally all I can really say. Third boring, fourth has will in it and I have been recently moved near him. He stares at me a lot when he thinks I don't notice. Same in fifth since he is that class too. I don't know how he feels about me but I think he still does have something if not nothing. Sixth is math, I need no say more.

Uh I asked will to winter formal and he said yes but he showed up tripping so I let him sit there for the 4 hours. He deserved it.

I started working at Little Caesars. Oh joy pizza. I think I like it but I don't know. They people there (with the exception of Shanese) are really great people. There is a guy their named Gordon who likes me a lot but I don't like him that much. He wants to go to the movies with me all the time and he follows me around like a lost puppy. It's really starting to get on my nerves. I don't know how to tell him I don't like him cause I like to flirt with him. But then again I like to flirt with every one. I don't know what to do.


Well since live journal knows nothing about Nick I'm going to tell you. Nick is a guy that I had liked since the beginning of 2005. I flirt, he flirts, my sister goes out with him, my sister cheats on him, they break up, I flirt, again, and again, and again. Sophomore year he asks me out. I fall in love. He cheats on me (or so I heard) I break up with him, He is sad, I am sad. I find out it was wrong…


Bell just rang.. I have to go…

Bye!!♥♥♥

Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: none

For all of you at Mingus.
I am leaving.
I hate it in Cottonwood.


I want to shove reality in to your face.
It's because of you.
Maybe if you didn't throw me aside like a peice of shit every time you saw me I would still be there. But I'm not.

But then again there are people who are making it hard to leave. You will never know how much you ment to me. I will ♥ you forever.

You will be the people I will remember for the rest of my life.

Goodbye,


Danielle

Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: None

Well I have survived my first week of school! Amazingly it has been the shiznit. (I don’t know why I keep on saying that)

I don’t like my first hour at all, plus it’s Algebra. I cannot understand my teacher at all. Her name is Ms. Manhendren. She is from India and I have massive trouble knowing why she is saying.

My second hour (English 2) is awesome though. I have Lindsey Chambers, Fishy, Nick, Amber Bartells, Abby and Sean Rutledge in that class and my teacher is such a crack head.

Third hour is boring… nothing really to say about it.

Fourth hour (Theater Arts) is the best thing EVER! I have 13 people I know in that class. I love how cheesy it is, I mean we do the stupidest things in there. I can’t wait until Monday for it. I know I’m sad I actually like school


Um...If I go to school with you I would love to hear about your first week

Love,

Dylan

Current Mood: lovedloved
Current Music: None

Pain of Tragedy (RX for Manic Depressive),


I can't help to think who is to balme. Was it my fault, was it my Moms or was it his? All I know is that it was wrong to take her away. i am sitting here listening to a song called by Cold Fusion. (Yes I know Shy. You can bitch about it to me later, I don't want your shit right now) In the song it says over and over "Who's to blame? Who's to blame?" I can't help but think that I could have kept Brie here. I could have kept her from sneaking out, I could have kept her from Jeremiah. I could have told her I though he was bad. But no I didn't, now I don't have her. i can't feel her in my arms anymore. I can't feel her love anymore. I can't.

Sometimes I dream of killing myself because I didn't have her. Only a dream but sometimes I wish it was true. Maybe if I wasn't here in life, I would be able to be with her every waking moment. I wouldn't leave her side. I hate all the things she was to me. I don't think anyone realizes how much I love her. I don't know what I am going to do if I don't see her. Everytime I think of her my eyes sweel with tears and I start to shake. I wish I was with her. i would do anything to just get up right now and run away. i would slepp out side in a drain pipe for the rest of my life to be with her again.

I hate Jeremiah. Why did he have to be here? Why? Why did he first have to steal my Bries heart, taking the last days I had with her away. Why did he have to use her? Why did he have to think with his dick instead of his head. Why did he have to come to Cottonwood? I hate the bastard. i hate how he hurt my Brie and I if it wasn't for him she would still be here. She was at HIS house. in HIS arms. I HATE him. He took her away form me. He killed the only thing I loved.

Brie if you are reading this i am going to save up money to ge a ticket. I will hitch hike to your house if I have to. I don't care if i am raped and beaten on the way. I on't want to be away from you any longer. i can't stand it. I need to have you back. This time I won't let you get away. i won't let it happen. You mean to much to me Brie. If the whole green Day thing does work out I don't know what I am going to do when I have to say good bye. Personally it is easier to have a person you love die in a car crash than in your arms.

I hope you understand if I wouldn't be able to say Goodbye. I never will.

Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: Pain of Tragedy (RX for Manic Depressive)_Cold Fusion

Well I have much to say.

First off I went to a Battle of the Bands concert which was of the awesomeness! I was all gothed out and it rocked...

Second I got some new pink and black converse with two types of shoe laces. One is pink and black stripes and the other is pink stars with white skull and cross bones on a black background. You most likely don't want to hear of that so yeah...

Well I might see Penis and meet Green Day. That's right bitches... Brie is going to be flown out to D.C. in August to see the Green Day concert becuase she knows one of the guys touring with them. She told me she is going to beg them, (She has talked to the vocalist personaly) to get me to the concert as well. The coolest part is if I do go, Brie and I will be flown first class to D.C. then ride in a helicopter to the concert. Then we wold have VIP passes where we would be able to get ON the stage during the concert. Isn't that the coolest fucking thing EVER??? The best thing is that we would be hanging out with Green Day before/after the concert. I really hope they say yes because then I would see my Penis and meet Green Day. God nothing cool ever happens to me. I HOPE THIS WORKS OUT!!!

Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: None

I don't know why but this song makes me really sad...

New American Classic Lyrics



"We've got to get better," I said, "It's all in your head."
We could live through these letters or forget it all together
See the months they don't matter it's the days I can't take
When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away

Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing I can do nothing about

When all that we need is just a reaction
It's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore
If chasing our dreams is just a distraction
I want to remember when I know that I can't go back

Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Try to avoid it (try to avoid it) but there's not a doubt
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing about.

Just ask the question (just ask the question) come untie the knot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Retrace the steps (retrace the steps) as if we forgot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Try to avoid it (try to avoid it) but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing about.

Current Mood: exanimateexanimate
Current Music: New American Classic_Taking Back Sunday

Unaffected Lyrics



[1st verse:]

There never seems to be
Because what i believe
A moment i'm not trying
To show them who i am
Why can't they understand
The things that they're denying?

They're denying.....

[chorus:]

So what should i do
Just lay next to you
As though i'm unaffected
And who should i be
When they're judging me
As though i'm unaffected?

[2nd verse:]

A chance they'd never give
To ever want to live
The life that i am made of
There's nothing left to prove
My heart's forever true
What is it they're afraid of?

Afraid of.....

[chorus:]

So what should i do
Just lay next to you
As though i'm unaffected
And who should i be
When they're judging me
As though i'm unaffected?

Before they even saw my face
The knew that i was not the same
And decided i was not the one for you
For you.....

So what should i do?
I'm not unaffected
And who should i be?
I'm not unaffected

[chorus:]

So what should i do
Just lay next to you
As though i'm unaffected
And who should i be
When they're judging me
As though i'm unaffected?

Unaffected...[repeat 4 times]

Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: Unaffected_Hoobastank

Well I am back in Arizona, not in Cottonwood but in Arizona. I'm glad to be back. I actually got to sleep in my own bed last night! Squeee! I got home last night around 11:30. She had left me a couple of notes asking me to see her so I did. I'm glad she liked her gifts. I got her one of those rubber band things that support charities that said music=life and I got her a shot glass that says Nightmare Before Christmas and has Jacks face on it. She loved it. Nether less I was very glad she was happy.

Now I am in Flagstaff with my Dad. Luckily my step mom isn't. Unfortunately we are going to go pick her up at the airport tonight... :( Oh well.

Oh I don’t have my cell phone. Any one who wants to talk to me call 522-8607 its long distance so yeah you need a cell phone.



Love,


Danielle

Current Mood: energeticenergetic
Current Music: Shout 2000_Disturbed

School is finally out! I am so glad to be out of that shit hole. I’m sad that I have to be away from my friends, I love them so much. They don’t know how much they have turned my life around. Last year I had one friend, I felt as if I was the most hated person in the world. This year I have too many to count. The only problem is that I feel as if they are Shylynnes friends, not mine. I feel as if they just put up with me because I’m related to Shy.

Right now I’m in California and having a great time. Well I am proud to say that I have finally broken ONE of my innocence. I got drunk for the first time on the 28th. The people I am staying with decided that it would be fun to get me drunk so they gave me a glass of 2 ½ shots of Rum and Coke. I guess I’m a light weight because that got me buzzed. 3 shots later I was laughing my ass off to anything that moved. I have to get drunk again. It’s fun.

Well I am so excited because my sister’s best friend is dating a guy Van. His cousin named Will whom I have had a crush on during middle school saw my prom pictures (Man do I look GOOD in them) and wants to talk to me. I don’t know what to do! Knowing my sisters friend, Will probably knows that I liked him and I live next door to Will’s cousin, meaning I might see him during the summer…

I had the best 2nd to last day of school. (The last was a bit boring) I went over to Kayelee’s house and Sean Rutledge shows up… ( Yes I know most of my friends don’t like both of them but I do) an hour later Skyler called and wanted to hang out with Sean so Sean was going to go pick him up. Kayelee was afraid that Sean wouldn’t come back so I went with him. I like his car. I was surprised to see what his house looked like. I was thinking he lived in a better house but he didn’t so yeah. I feel so rich when I am in peoples houses like that. Well must go to bed… Bye.

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